I will start by saying that I am an introvert, and I do not always enjoy large amounts of small talk. What I do enjoy is knowing someone really well and spending time with that person. When I first became a mom, I was lonely. I wanted to stay home with my son (and I’m very glad I did), but being at home with a baby can be hard since there’s no one else with whom to talk. I had mom friends, but they all went back to work after their maternity leave was finished. I also had a close friend that was single, so obviously she worked. I am, and was at the time, also very close to my sisters, mom, and mother-in-law. But I didn’t have any stay-at-home mom friends.
Naturally, I joined a MOPS group. The people there were nice, but I never really made any friends. I didn’t return the following year. At church, I had tried doing some playdates with other moms, but they were either busy or their kids were older than mine. I spent a good year or so keeping to myself. Then covid hit…and I made a bunch of new mom friends. That’s probably not what you would expect, but let me explain.
When covid came, everything shut down. My BSF study stopped, Sunday school for kids stopped, and story time at the library stopped. Then summer came and even the splash pads were closed. There was literally nowhere to go with kids, and it was over 100 degrees. My two boys had no one to play with, which didn’t bother them because they are introverts like me. They loved the lockdown, but I wanted them to have friends.
What I wanted was a mom at church to start a playgroup by opening up her house once a week. If she could make banana bread, I thought that would be amazing. I prayed that someone would do that for me. However, no one did. I thought maybe I would have to be the person. I thought and prayed for about a month. By the end of a month, I was sure I should start a playgroup. Here were my reasons (they might make you laugh):
· Stay-at-home moms with small kids have almost nothing to do with everything closed. Maybe they would be free to hang out with me? Previously, this had not been the case, but there were some new families at church.
· I have a great back yard, and some moms from my church were living in apartments. Kids can just run around while we all sit a talk.
· I’m good at keeping my house clean. It wouldn’t be stressful to have people over once a week.
· It would be good for my boys to play with other children.
· I like making banana bread
So, I decided to start a playgroup. One Sunday after church, I asked a mom if she would be interested in getting together once a week and starting a playgroup for our kids. She very quickly, and desperately, said yes. Her daughter is extroverted and loves playing with kids. Then I bumped into another mom and asked her the same thing. She also said yes. I would also like to add that these were not complete strangers. I regularly talked with them at church and sometimes did get together, but it wasn’t on a regular basis.
After a week or two, I had a group of four other moms that wanted to come over. I would send a text message to everyone early in the week and invite them over, and they would respond. Sometimes I would plan an activity to do with the kids. At first, only one mom came for a few weeks, but then the other moms slowly began to come too. Before I knew it, I had a group of mom friends. I remember being confused why they all kept coming back each week. I usually have one or two friends – not four! I concluded that God was being kind and giving me friends.
There was once day when I sitting on the rug next to one of the moms. Our kids were all playing and she looked at me and said, “You know, these carefree playgroup days are only here for a short time.” She was right. That one mom later moved away. Another mom started to work full-time, and another moved about an hour away. Now our kids are school age. Some are homeschooled, some go to hybrid school, and some a private school. The group lasted for about two years, but I’m glad that I did it and that I got to make some good friends.
I still see them because I go to church with some of them, but it’s harder to get together as often. We go out for dinner these days (without the kids). What I learned was that when there’s a need or a desire, fill it and make it happen. It was kind of scary to ask moms if they wanted to do a playgroup because I hadn’t had great success with playgroups prior to that.
What I liked about the playgroup was that it encouraging to be with other moms. I know everyone needs encouragement, but stay-at-home moms are sometimes the last to get any because no one sees the hard work that goes into training, teaching, and caring for children. It’s not like a career where there’s recognition for hard work. Even though I know the Lord sees everything I do, it’s still great to spend time with moms and build friendships that are encouraging. It makes motherhood even more special, and I know I will look back on good old days with fondness.
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