Homeschooling with Toddlers: You Don't Need to Feel Guilty

Is there anyone out there who feels guilty about not doing as much with the younger kids because you are busy homeschooling the older kids? Sometimes I feel like that. When my two oldest boys were younger, I took them to places like the zoo, parks, libraries, and the children’s museum. We also did mommy and me swim classes. I genuinely enjoyed doing all those activities with my kids, and it also made me feel like a good mom because they were doing so many good activities. Now that I am homeschooling, we stay home a lot. Also, taking four little kids out is a lot of work. My daughter, who is two-years old, stays home more than her two older brothers did. She doesn’t do as many of those fun toddler/preschool activities simply because I have chosen to homeschool. I guess you could call her a stay-at-home toddler.

Something I have been thinking about is whether this creates a disadvantage. Should I feel guilty that I don’t do the same things I did with her brothers? Which is better? Having a toddler and providing him or her with age-appropriate activities all the time, or being in a large family with older siblings where often times the activities are not exactly had her level but she still joins in? I have thought about this for a while, and I don’t think she is at a disadvantage. Here is why.

Getting Out

We do get out of the house, but it looks different than it did a few years ago. We homeschool four days a week and leave one day for getting out and doing something fun like going to the library or getting together with friends.  Structuring our week like this helps me know that my daughter is getting out and having some of the same experiences as her brothers. Since it’s so much work to get four kids ready to go out, I often times go out when my husband can help. For example, our family goes to church on Wednesday evenings where my daughter sees other children and plays with them.  On the weekends, we sometimes go out and do short errands as a family. We also go to grandma and grandpa’s house for dinner once a week, and of course, church on Sundays. When I wasn’t homeschooling, our outings were in the morning. Now I need to reserve the morning for school. This means getting out is sometimes shifted to times of the week where I have more help.

Life Skills

One thing I realized this week about homeschooling older kids with the younger kids is that the littles learn more life skills. Instead of doing a sensory station with rice or sand, my daughter digs in the garden and helps pull weeds…and sometimes the plants by mistake. She helps me bake cookies and scoops the flour. Most of it ends up in the bowl. She has watched her brothers put their clothes on hangers. Now she can do the same. She can help unload the dishwasher. Washing the dishes with me is also a favorite. She likes to bring in the groceries and organize the pantry. My older boys were not doing this many chores at her age. I actually didn’t think children could do all those things at such a young age. I was wrong.

Read Alouds

Another benefit is the read alouds. I read aloud to my daughter for about 40 minutes a day (20 minutes before her nap and 20 minutes before bed), but I also read aloud to my boys a lot. My daughter is present and hears a Bible story at breakfast. At snack time I read their nature study picture books. All of the books are far above her level, but it still benefits her to hear everything. In fact, if my three-month old baby is awake, I plop him on my lap when I read aloud because I want him to hear it as well.

Conclusion

Families change as more children are added, and my days don’t look the same as they did a few years ago. I don’t feel guilty that my daughter has never gone to story time at the library or participated in a baby swim class. Maybe she will someday, but for now it doesn’t work with homeschooling. I read and sing to her a lot. We have friends come over to play. I know she’ll be fine without all those extra experiences. Her toddler days are different than her brothers’, but they are also richer in other ways. She spends her time playing with her brothers, being outside, coloring, and making tents. For her home is a wonderful place to be.

God gives each family the children he wants them to have. When homeschooling, I think it’s important to know that each child has a place in a homeschool day, whether they are three months or two-years old. They can be included in activities with older siblings and still pick up skills they need to learn.

Also, it’s not the norm to parent this way. Lots children are sent to daycare or preschool very early on. If you’re like me and that wasn’t what you wanted to do, then I think it’s easy to feel like you’re doing something wrong if you haven’t presented your young child with an array of toddler activities. Homeschooling is a way of parenting, and it’s what I love to do. It’s living your everyday life alongside your children.