A few weeks ago, I inspected the floor that my five-year old son had vacuumed. He missed quite a few spots. I could feel the cracker crumbs on my feet. I soon found myself thinking, I could clean this floor faster and better. It’s true. I certainly could. This past year I have been diligent to have my children do chores each day, but I still find that since they are young, they do not complete the tasks perfectly. Despite that, I know that it is good for children to do chores. As Calvin’s dad from Cavin and Hobbs would always say to any of Calvin’s problems, “It builds character.”
I always knew that doing chores was good for kids. They build character, but what type of character traits are we talking about? I suppose I could a bunch of qualities such as thoughtfulness, kindness and patience. Those are great traits, and doing chores does build those character traits. However, I think sometimes there’s work happening in a child’s heart when they are told to do chores, and those positive character traits, such as kindness and patience, don’t immediately appear. I have heard other homeschoolers call this “character training.” Here’s an example.
One morning I told one of my sons to come unload the dishwasher. He was busy with his legos, and since legos are way more interesting than dishes, he didn’t come help right away. He kept postponing the dishwasher with, “I’m almost done! Just give me one minute…” Finally, he came, but there was some huffing and puffing. He sure didn’t like giving up what he wanted to do.
The next morning, I told him to come unload the dishwasher. Guess what? It was the exact same problem as the day before! He didn’t want to come and help. I think every parent would be saying, “Didn’t you learn your lesson yesterday?” I probably did say that. Luckily, by the third day he had learned his lesson.
That’s when realized why having children do chores is so good for them: it teaches them to lay down their will and go help someone. To adults it may seem insignificant that a child struggles to stop playing and come do a chore. What’s the big deal? Why is this so hard for kids? Giving up five minutes should not be challenging, but it is.
It was helpful for me to see that telling my son to stop playing was hard for him. I could unload that dishwasher in a minute or two, but then my son would not get practice of giving up something important to him – his play time. Every kid is different, and for some it’s harder to make sacrifices, even very small ones. While this was an irritating occasion, it was also encouraging because it showed me how important these small chores really are. Chores and household tasks teach children to be sacrificial. I want my children to be sacrificial adults who are willing to lay down their will in order to help someone.
Teaching children to do chores is hard, but when the reward is growth towards mature character. I’m easily tempted to do everything around the house for everybody because I’m fast and thorough, but I have to stop myself and remember that chores help grow my children in helping others. It’s not about a task being done perfectly, although children should do their best work, but it’s about growing in kindness and patience as they learn to lay aside their will and do something that helps their family.
I would like to say that my children have reached that point and smile when they are told to vacuum after lunch, but they don’t always do that. I still have to remind myself to be consistent with chores. I have tasted only a small bite of the fruit of having my children do chores, but those small bites can bring encouragement to continue doing the right thing.
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